Getting real with my pajamas!

I love the sitcom THE MIDDLE. The mom, Frankie, is a hot mess and does so many things that I think a lot of us moms do. Like give up on being sexy. In her case, she accidentally buys underwear that say “#I’d hit that” when she gets overzealous at a bargain table of “granny panties” and slips them in by mistake. Her husband insists she keeps and wears the underwear by which she’s appalled. When she goes to return them, the woman says, “Yeah you can’t pull those off” — infuriating her into keeping them, wearing them, and then having a gym mishap where said underwear are exposed during a 911 call after she gets tangled in a treadmill. That’ll teach her to be sexy.

In my particular case, it’s pajamas. I used to love cute pajamas – short shorts with matching tees, satin, lacy, you name it. But who the hell has time to scout out those pajamas anymore? My night time attire generally consists of one of the following:

A. The hubby’s casual day work t-shirts and yoga pants
B. The free t-shirts we acquired from a fair/tradeshow the hubby has attended
C. College Rugby shirt (yes I still have it to all my Ruggin’ Rebels who I represented back in the day as your media and PR gal).

I’m not proud of this selection so I decided it was time to do something about it. I needed new pjs damnit and I was going to find some good ones! Here is this season’s look I’ve decided to go with, (disclaimer: I had good intentions but comfort won).

1. SUPERHERO SHEIK

Nothing says “come hither” like baggy fleece batman pants and a matching shirt. Yes these pajamas have it all: warmth, movie references and an attached cape. I figure waking up in these won’t feel sexy but maybe they will motivate me to “save the universe” or whatever.

2. Posh in Poo

If being covered in winking poo emojis isn’t sultry I don’t know what is. My daughter picked this little number out, actually, there is nothing little about it since I was on my cell talking to the dr. about Garrett’s recent strep culture and totally bought the XL instead of the XS. So I swim in poo while I sleep in poo. Paints a picture doesn’t it?

3. The onesie

Quite possibly the best invention known to man. I mean why should kids have all the fun? I am looking pretty hot (because I live in Arizona and these things are toasty, man). No man can resist the high neck, clasped with a zipper, and heart shaped button. Another sweet pick by my daughter Sawyer, she is truly an expert when it comes to what I really want in a pair of pjs.

So the bottom line – sexy can be fun, even as a mom, but let’s face it. We’ve just spent the day being sneezed on, yelled at, having homework fights and watching everyone not touch the gourmet meal we’ve prepared. Our hopes of having anything but comfort for sleep are slim to none. Besides any of the above choices are perfect when paired with a bowl of Ben and Jerry’s and an episode of The Walking Dead. You’re welcome.

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