I’m a Shrimp and I Don’t Care!

When I was in college, my then boyfriend nicknamed me Lit, short for Little One, and he and my friends got such a kick out of finding things to hang in my dorm that eluded to my vertical challenge. My personal favorite was a PF Changs Ad that read Don’t Call Me a Shrimp and went on to talk about how bold, and full of life something so tiny could be. That’s me in a nutshell. And I can actually fit inside a nutshell so the analogy works. I am 4 foot 11 inches of pure awesomeness.  Yes I will always tell myself that. But being so short does have it’s drawbacks, especially as an adult.

I don’t fit in adult clothing

Yup, it’s a sad truth. When I visit a Department Store and am greeted with the trends of the season I sadly graze the shelves of beautiful, womanly fabrics with the touch of a woman longing to join her peers. Her peers who can wear the cute a-line dresses and body hugging sweaters without the dress looking like a tarp and the sweater being so long it looks like a dress. The belted look – so cute. So impractical for a lady of my wee stature. The belt usually sits somewhere under my cleavage in a most unladylike fashion, and I wind up looking like a bloated cartoon instead of a sexy vixen. In fact I don’t think I’ve ever looked like a sexy vixen – maybe a cutesy kitten but that’s as far as I can go.

The pants – those boot cut jeans might as well be bell bottoms for me and the bell bottoms might as well come pre-frayed and they will catch under my shoes every day and achieve the look in no time. The blazers – so stylish for most — not for the 37 year old woman that will need to have the sleeves shortened or not so conspicuously tuck them under to look normal.

My trends are whatever my daughter is wearing

I glance in the dressing room mirror. I look perfect – this outfit fits me like a glove. And it’s super cheap. That’s because it’s in the children’s section. Juniors section? Perhaps if I am lucky. The other day I bought a shirt that says “I live for Pizza AND Playdates.” True fact, but considering it was a kid’s large, I think they meant it in a different way. Oh well, I can play the irony card with that one. And hey, it was between that and “Text Me Bestie”, “Be your own selfie” and “My boyfriend is cuter than yours,” tees so what should I have chosen? And I love my new skinny jeans, they were a juniors XXS – and they are the right length at a fraction of the adult jeans price. So HA!

Chinese Clothing Sites are no joke around here

You know those funny articles that you see, where a woman orders from a Chinese Clothing Site with super cheap deals and when the outfit arrives it is 80 sizes too small? Yeah. I am a frequent Rosegal and JollyChic customer. The dresses fit me perfectly. I have worn two to fancy occasions (see one below) and rocked them! 😉 In a small no less.

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I get the best shoes

Be honest. How many times have you gotten your kid new shoes and thought, “I wish those came in my size.” Well they do for me. I have some adorable kicks that are whimsical and reminiscent of a simpler time. Probably my own childhood because I am in the same size shoe now. I am already eyeing some Jack Skellington Chucks for Halloween. Sawyer and I can be twinsies because she wants them too. 😉

 

So, being short isn’t a curse. Well sometimes it is. I envy those slick leather bomber jackets that fit me like a trench coat and those knee high boots that are thigh highs if I bought them, but I make do. Us shrimps can measure up when it counts and you know you’re jealous that I might get carded my whole life. And (fun fact) I can fit in most overhead bins. Just saying.

 

 

2 Comments

  1. Julie August 1, 2016 Reply
    • Staci August 10, 2016 Reply

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