I was having a day. You know the kind. Everyone is pissing you off, you spray yourself with water when you are trying to frantically fill your child’s water bottle to get out the door to school. Your hair and make-up have decided to full on abandon you, leaving you looking like you didn’t even bother that morning. The clothes that looked cute on the hanger the night before are too tight because you ate way too much at dinner last night, and as you walk your kids into school, one falls face first on the pavement, successfully covering himself in mud and scraping his knee like a boss. And you can’t get a do over. It is just that kind of day. The kind of day where you just need a big scoop of peanut butter.

I know what you’re thinking – um, what? Yeah. That’s how I deal with stress. I eat peanut butter. A lot of it. Right off the spoon. I am a peanut butter aficionado too. Not just ANY peanut butter will do. I like the mix-ins kind, the oatmeal raisin one, YES! And it has to be smooth and extra creamy. Never refrigerate peanut butter or you lose its essence. Trust me on this.

But on that very day, the day I needed my PB fix the most, it failed me. Peanut butter had been my favorite food since I was little. It was there for me in times of need – like when I was pregnant with my daughter and gained a good 50+ pounds…it made me feel healthy because I could throw it on some apple slices. Let’s be honest, they were just a vessel. A vessel for an obscene amount of peanuty goodness. But on that day when everything was going wrong, I downed my pb and felt immediate pain in my throat. It was distracting. It lasted all day. Then came the stomach pain. I thought, this can’t be, I’m not allergic to peanut butter. I continued to eat it. Then Halloween came and I stole (I mean borrowed) my kids’ Reese’s cups by the handful, resulting in days of discomfort.

I consulted my dr. who gave me the bad news. Apparently when you have auto immune disease, which I had suffered from and been diagnosed with a year ago, you develop random but severe food intolerances. And lucky me. Mine was peanut butter. This shouldn’t depress me, right? That’s absurd. But I was so angry at the amount I’d already had to change in my life to deal with my new limitations that it kinda sent me over the edge. I had had to give up daily exercise due to pain, dairy and meat due to inflammation, heavy activity with the kids due to extreme exhaustion, time in the sun (I live in Arizona, so that was a pickle), my thick hair which had been falling out regularly, and you know what, I didn’t want to give up peanut butter.

I spent five or so days in an irrational sulk about this and then said to myself, “Hey, I don’t care, I will figure out another vice to help me cope.” And I did. Biscoff Cookie Spread. It’s no Peanut butter but it will do. It gives me my fix. And it’s way better than Sunbutter, no offense sunflower seeds. You just don’t do it for me. Life is about change. Moderation. We can’t win them all. Roll with it, that’s what I’ve learned. Just one of my little annoyances and I will deal. But don’t throw it in my face by packing a pb and j sandwich when we chaperone the class trip together, parents. That’s just mean.


  1. Mom and Dad February 21, 2016 Reply
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